Let’s be real. Not every conversation you have will be smooth sailing. You’ve probably been there—someone catches you completely off guard with a comment that feels like a subtle dig… or maybe not so subtle. It might come across as sarcastic or even insulting. Your first instinct might be to get defensive or shut down. But if you want to maintain your front-row presence, here’s your power move: Pause. Breathe. Ask a Question.
When you feel that sting of a potentially insulting comment, here’s what I want you to do:
- Don’t react — respond instead, after taking a pause
- Take a deep breath — literally. This will instantly calm your nervous system.
- Ask a clarifying question.
One of these works beautifully:
- “That sounded like a dig—was that your intent?”
- “That came across as sarcastic—was that what you meant?”
- “That sounded like an insult, was that your intent?”
Don’t ask all three. Pick one. And ask it calmly, curiously, and without sarcasm of your own. This simple, assertive question flips the energy. It puts the ball in their court. Now, they’re the one who has to explain, clarify, or walk it back.
Why This Works:
- You’re divesting emotionally from the interaction. Instead of taking it personally, you’re gathering information.
- You’re showing up as a confident, credible communicator, not someone who gets rattled.
- You’re giving yourself time to process, reflect, and respond instead of reacting.
Sometimes a comment hits you so hard or fast that you’re just… stunned. You have no words. That’s okay. You can always say: “I didn’t quite catch that—can you say it again?” Say it from a place of genuine inquiry, not aggression. There’s a big difference between calmly saying, “Can you repeat that?” and flaring up with “Oh really? Say that again.”
Front-Row Takeaway: Difficult conversations will happen. But you can choose to meet them with calm composure.
Keep your front-row seat by:
- Taking a breath
- Asking for clarity
- Staying curious, not combative
Because in the end, your confidence, your composure, and your credibility are always within your control. Here’s to holding your power, one breath at a time.
See you in the front-row.
Your Head Usher,
Marilyn
